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Novemeber 17, 2002

We've been inundated with a litany of celebrities who think we should listen to their opinion regarding politics. The developing situation with Iraq has brought out celebrities both in support of and decrying against the coming war. Such diverse political minds as Barbara Streisand, Sean Penn and Eric Roberts have all blessed us with their infinite wisdom on the subject. Thank whatever gods you kneel to that we have think tanks of this variety working on the world's problems.

The question is not if they have the right to speak their minds, or even if they are correct, rather, what does the coverage of these celebrities say about the media, and more importantly what does it say about us? Well, Beefanatics, look no further than your own favorite professional wrestling powerhouse media magnate celebrity, the Beefboy, to put this all in perspective for you. So sit back, relax, enjoy, and let the Beefboy do, what the Beefboy does best… and that's break it right on down for you.

Eric Roberts, an actor of unquestionably unlimited talent, told FOX News that he considered President Bush a "fascist" and a co-conspirator with Osama bin Laden in deliberately "wrecking the American economy." Let's see if the Beefboy has this right Eric… bin Laden rang George W. on the phone and plotted with him to fly four airliners into national icons, so that they could destroy the economy together? Eric, I think your whole career has been a plot with bin Laden to destroy the entertainment industry.

Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, Gore Vidal and other inconsequential rim-jobs signed a public "Statement of Conscience" that promised "to resist the injustices done by our government" and pledged "alliance with those who have come under attack." Really? I seem to remember the last time we went into Iraq, Hussein had political prisoners, mothers and children form a "human shield" around important outposts and equipment, to prevent the coalition from bombing said targets. Since the patriots who signed that statement seek an alliance with Iraq, perhaps they would like to volunteer for human shield duty before we start slinging fire.

Sean Penn spent $56K of his own scratch to run a full-page ad in the Washington Post warning of the Bush "legacy of horror." Barbara Streisand has been making news lately due to her misspelled "talking-points" fax to congress, her Democratic version of "People Who Need People" and her thoughts on Bush's "arrogance of wanting unlimited power." Isn't it amazing that the more irrelevant these celebrities are, the more strident their views are?

America has a free press and Gary Coleman has just as much right to voice his views on America's policies as the Beefboy does. But, why oh why, should we care what they say? These people are entertainers. They get paid to act and sing. They walk around all day in their insulated world of fame and fortune, grumpy from following the draconian dictates of the Akins diet, nuked from head to toe in personal radiation chambers to appear "sun-kissed" and spend an inordinate amount of time in doctor's offices discussing maladies like "tiny tittie syndrome" and "chronic hairline regression." These people have pet psychiatrists. These people created New Kids on the Block and 10 Halloween movies! How can anyone possibly place any importance on the words that come out of their mouths?

I imagine that most people simply smile and disregard the political diatribes of celebrities, but still we are fed a steady diet of entertainer's political pap. Is it ratings or agenda that makes mainstream media outlets pander to the famous? There's no doubt that news is more motivated by money than at any other time in history. If you have a story about a celebrity and can work it into the aegis of "newsworthyness", no matter what the story is, there are certain channel surfing cattle that will stick around to see the story. Hard as it is to swallow (and the ladies understand what the Beefboy is talking about here), we're the ones responsible for handing news shows ratings when they feature celebrities.

To be honest, the Beefboy enjoys the quotes from these celebrities. If you've ever seen has-been (never-was) actor Ed Begley Jr. jump into his plastic electric car, to demonstrate his commitment to the environment, you know how entertaining these boneheads can be. However, there's also a level of arrogance that you should be aware of. Barbara Streisand (whose initials are B.S.) released a statement telling us how we should live. In her missive, she detailed how we should keep our air conditioning above 85 degrees and let laundry dry on a line to conserve energy. When it was pointed out to a spokesman that B.S. herself kept her residences like refrigerators and sent her laundry to a professional service, the spokesman said that her own ideas were not meant to apply to her. That's B.S. to the highest order. And believe the Beefboy, when he says, that B.S., stinks!

Dig it!

-The Beefboy