Think the debate
over evolution in school ended with the Scopes trial back
in 1925? Think again. Creationists have made headway in
Oklahoma, Mississippi and Alabama by pushing for disclaimers
to be placed in science textbooks that proclaim that evolution
is just a theory. A recent court case in Texas calls a college
professor a "religious bigot" because he requires
that a student who wants to receive a recommendation from
him must agree with the theory of evolution.
The debate is
heating up again and the battle over what we teach our kids
about the origin of the species is back with a vengeance.
Should we be teaching our kids that they're brainy monkeys
or the progeny of Eve? Well here comes professor Beefboy
with all the schooling you'll ever need! So sit back, relax,
enjoy, and let The Beefboy do, what The Beefboy does best…
and that's break it right on down for you.
There's no way
The Beefboy is going to tell you whether to believe in evolution
or creationism. You're big girls and boys and you can make
up that decision for yourself. What The Beefboy wants to
look at is what we should be teaching kids in public schools.
I think the answer lies in the designation "public".
(and state-run universities) are charged with giving every
kid a chance at a productive life by teaching them what
they need to know about our world. We've come a long way
from just teaching the three "R's", reading, writing
and 'rithmetic. In fact The Beefboy could rant endlessly
about wasting valuable time and money teaching kids shit
they don't need, but that's another article.
I hope we can
all agree that kids need a solid background in science.
Whether or not they will ever need to know single-cell mitosis,
the chemical equation for water or the definition of a cosmic
string (not Christina Aguilera's body), they do need to
understand the world according to science. A big part of
biology includes the Theory of Evolution.
One of the points
of creationists is that evolution is a "theory".
What everyone who doesn't know, should know, and The Beefboy
is here to tell you, is that in science the term "theory"
doesn't mean some shit they threw against the wall to see
if it would stick. A theory in science is one step from
a law and that's a short step. No one seems to be pushing
for a disclaimer over the Theory of Gravity, which means
that this is a political issue for creationists. When you
start talking about the unholy alliance of politics and
religion The Beefboy is ready to start banging heads. Keep
your religion out of my politics, or I'm going to put my
politics in your religion. Dig your tax-free status? Then
don't push it, nutsacks.
The best that
Creationists can offer in the name of science is half-hearted
attempts to discredit evolution. The Beefboy has checked
out numerous sites that give pseudo-scientific bullshit
to back up their science. They don't offer anything to justify
their version besides "see the Bible". This Beefanatics,
is NOT SCIENCE and it has no place in our schools.
Let's say we
put creationism in the classroom, what else are we going
to feed our kids as fact? Are we teach how Kali is the creator
and destroyer of the universe? Are we going to teach the
complex Egyptian views on "Kh" and the afterlife
or maybe Native American stories of Thunderbirds and such?
Are we going to address how the Force surrounds us, penetrates
us and binds the galaxy together?
like there should be some place to get this knowledge. Maybe
a porn store? No. How about a bus station? Nope. What about
on American Idol. I doubt it. Hey wait! How about a church?
Shazam, there's an idea! If you want to teach about how
God created the universe in six days and watched Sportscenter
on the seventh, then there's already a place for that.
Religion is a
belief, not a science. No religion should try to back up
their beliefs with cold hard facts, it makes you look stupid
and it's beside the point. All religion is a faith-based
entity, it seeks to define the un-definable. Science and
religion don't play well with each other. The Beefboy has
no problem with teaching religion as a cultural thing or
through sociology, in fact I think that's something schools
should do, just make sure to include everyone's religion
and keep some perspective. Anyone hell-bent (pun intended)
on including religious beliefs in a science textbook is
a nutsack deluxe, and deserves to be burned at the stake.