-When's the last
time you checked out FOX News? The vast majority of chicks
on FOX News are hot! While keeping up with the latest happenings,
the Beefboy sees his fair share of cable news and network
news (not to mention internet and newspaper sources) and
nowhere else is this trend so apparent as at FOX News.
Now, the Beefboy
is not the type to complain about a bevy of beauties, but
you have to wonder why FOX News has become such a haven
for heavenly honeys. So, sit back, relax, enjoy and let
the Beefboy do, what the Beefboy does best…and that's
break it right on down for you.
If you're a hot-blooded
American male like the Beefboy, you should dial that clicker
to FOX News the next time you need to catch up on George
W's hi-jinx. Maybe you would prefer red hot redhead Molly
Falconer, who appears on "Your World with Neil Cavuto"
or Judith Regan from the aptly named "Judith Regan
Tonight". Perhaps your bag is the pixie Meg Ryan minx
Terry Keenan, host of "Cashin-In". Or, if you're
prepared for the big leagues of babedom, try to catch Laurie
Dhue every half hour during the afternoon. Ahhh…Laurie
Dhue…the porcelain skin… the Disney-doe eyes…
the pillowy soft smackers… and that golden mane of
heathery hair… she's a complete vision of news casting
naughtiness. While watching Laurie Dhue spout aphorisms
about Osama bin Laden and economic malaise, all the Beefboy
hears is flowers, and sunshine, and puppies and happiness.
The point is that you won't have to wait long before seeing
some healthy lovely if you've tuned into FOX News. Hell,
even sow's ear, Greta Van Susteren, turned into a silk purse
before landing on FOX's airwaves.
the past, the face of broadcast news was Walter Cronkite;
FOX News would like to erase that notion with a line-up
of hotties that would serve as a viable alternative to Viagra.
The answer's in the ratings, baby! Since coming on the scene,
FOX News has managed to out-fox cable leader CNN and outright
lay the smackdown on MSNBC, with fewer markets even. Look
no further than the eye candy that FOX serves on a daily
basis as a primary reason for their salacious supremacy.
The problem is
that if FOX News is so concerned about ratings that they
will actively seek out luscious broadcasters, then what
else will FOX News do to ensure ratings? Not so long ago,
all news divisions were ruled by the goal of providing the
most in-depth analysis possible, whether it was boring or
not. Now, news franchises are ruled by ratings, and more
importantly, the almighty dollar. If there was a choice
between doing a story on illegal immigration or the Robert
Blake murder case, which one do you think would get the
airplay? You don't have to be Beretta to figure this one
By all means,
drop by FOX News and soak up the best cast of Info-babes
on the planet. Try to find a little special time to spend
with the lovely and delicious Laurie Dhue, the Beefboy promises
that it will be time well spent. However, if FOX News is
the sum and content of your current event education then
you're just sucking hind tit.