This is an archived section of the site.

Visit the Beefboy Rants Home Page for New Nude Celebrity Galleries and Naked News!


March 21, 2004

- This little story begins last Friday in Taiwan and will lead us straight to France and why we need to do everything in our power to sever our ties with that country. Taiwan? That’s right Beefanatics; it’s a short trip around the world with the future of the third stone from the Sun on the line. So sit back, relax, enjoy and let the Beefboy do what the Beefboy does best… and that’s break it right on down for you.

Friday morning, Taiwan President Chen Shui-bian and Vice President Annette Lu, survived an assassination attempt while campaigning for re-election. The President is a very vocal opponent of China who wants to take Taiwan back. The opposition party in Taiwan promises to be more conciliatory toward China. It’s fairly clear whom China would prefer to win… or even to live, for that matter. So why do I really care? All will be clear in a moment.

While Chen Shui-bian was bleeding in a hospital, China was conducting joint naval exercises in the sea surrounding Taiwan. The message is clear, China wants Taiwan back, whether through assassination, or through military muscle. Now, whether you’re aware of this or not, the United States has a pact with Taiwan, whereby any attack on Taiwan is considered an attack on the United States. That’s right Beefanatics, if China decides to truly flex its muscles; we’ve got a new war on our hands.

Oh, and the country who is conducting joint exercises with China? France. You heard me right. The fucking French. While China’s actions are certainly not excusable, they are predictable and at least they have a quasi-legitimate claim on Taiwan. France on the other hand has nothing to do with Taiwan, knows about our pact and is only engaging in military hand-jobs with China to open up business opportunities with the world’s largest populated country.

We just recently found hard evidence (although the Beefboy knew all along) that Saddam Hussein was bribing France and Russia with billion dollar oil contracts, as soon as the sanctions in Iraq were lifted. Any question on the motivations of our “allies” who sought to block the United States from kicking that nutsack in the crotch? Looks like it really was about oil… if you’re French.

Let’s stop pussyfooting around this subject. The French are our enemies. They pose no threat to us militarily, but economically and philosophically, they seek our ruin. I can no longer sit still while we allow a former ally to challenge our freedom and our way of life. It must stop now and there is plenty you can do to help out.

While China has the largest population on the earth, the United States represents the greatest single economy. In China they pay with chickens, here we pay with cold hard cash. Let the French learn the difference between cash and chicken feed. We can fight a war against France every time we open up our wallets. What the Beefboy is calling for is a systematic and total ban on French tourism, products and services. You can believe that the Beefboy will be the tip of the spear when it comes to this war. I’m vowing right now to stop funding France’s idiocy. I’ve listed a number of companies that are owned by France below. If you care about our country and the freedom that we enjoy, you’ll stay away from these companies and send a crystal clear message halfway around the world.

Dig it!

-The Beefboy

July 3, 2009 Update

This article was written over five years ago, and boy how things have changed.

I won't forgive France for doing what they did, but I'm a bigger fan of France right now than I've ever been. In some ways I support the way France is going versus the direction the United States is going. At least France has the balls to support the Iranian Revolution, while we languish in mastubatory diplomacy. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is a breath of fresh air, and his wife is smoking hot. The French have begun to turn around thier economic woes by practicing more capitalism than the United States and the United Kingdom. France is showing the world how an investment in nuclear power can solve the energy crisis.

The bottom line is that not only have I lifted my ban on France, I'd like to tip a glass of champagne to the French for turning things around and apologize to them for not holding up our end of being a good ally. This works both ways.

Vive la France!